I was wrong
An essay on learning about learning
If you think you may not want to go to grad school, talk to me. My stubbornness about graduate school was not due to a lack of ability, but rather a desire to learn on my own terms, what I wanted, when I wanted. Originally, I did not intend to attend Michigan State University or set out to obtain an advanced degree of any kind. I was content in the classroom, teaching social studies to middle school students. The world was my classroom and I loved reading and learning. But I had a leader who told me, in no uncertain terms, that I needed to be involved in school leadership. My reaction? Not me. Not my gig.
I didn’t want to become a school leader removed from the students, the ones who seem to become more interested in politics and subservient to the broken systems of education. But I went home and thought about the conversation I had with this colleague that I trusted. And eventually, I warmed to the idea of leadership. I like to try new things. I enjoy working with others. I am a problem solver. And to be honest, the classroom was on autopilot. Once my mind was made up, I knew that I had to learn more. I knew that to lead others well, I had to become a student again. I enrolled first in another program at another university, but after a semester and a half, I wanted a more concentrated experience in graduate work based in educational practice and philosophy.
I entered Michigan State’s Master of Arts in Education (MAED) and found myself surrounded by other learners who impressed me with their passion and determination. The program immediately challenged me to be a more committed student. We, just like the students in our classrooms, can skate through, with one foot in the classroom door and one foot out. I found that, although the digital program might seem less engaging, I was more present in my learning than ever. Because of my coursework, I noticed changes in me and my approach. Learning became a broader experience, less defined by the classroom alone. At my workplace, I began to approach situations less as problems and more as learning opportunities. In my work with other teachers, I became more focused on who they were as learners and teachers. With students, I began to advocate more for student centered learning and engagement. Personally, I began to see that at the heart of my learning was asking questions, hard questions, without certain answers. And in all these things, I became more convinced, that at the heart of the learning experience, is our relationships with those we learn alongside and with.
The MAED program at Michigan State University has inspired me to move beyond thinking of graduate work as head knowledge and to see it for what it is, an experience centered on educating the heart, the lifeblood through which knowledge flows and is shared with others. Whole-hearted learning, as I have seen it, seeks to share with others the joy and wonder that we have discovered in this world.
I didn’t want to become a school leader removed from the students, the ones who seem to become more interested in politics and subservient to the broken systems of education. But I went home and thought about the conversation I had with this colleague that I trusted. And eventually, I warmed to the idea of leadership. I like to try new things. I enjoy working with others. I am a problem solver. And to be honest, the classroom was on autopilot. Once my mind was made up, I knew that I had to learn more. I knew that to lead others well, I had to become a student again. I enrolled first in another program at another university, but after a semester and a half, I wanted a more concentrated experience in graduate work based in educational practice and philosophy.
I entered Michigan State’s Master of Arts in Education (MAED) and found myself surrounded by other learners who impressed me with their passion and determination. The program immediately challenged me to be a more committed student. We, just like the students in our classrooms, can skate through, with one foot in the classroom door and one foot out. I found that, although the digital program might seem less engaging, I was more present in my learning than ever. Because of my coursework, I noticed changes in me and my approach. Learning became a broader experience, less defined by the classroom alone. At my workplace, I began to approach situations less as problems and more as learning opportunities. In my work with other teachers, I became more focused on who they were as learners and teachers. With students, I began to advocate more for student centered learning and engagement. Personally, I began to see that at the heart of my learning was asking questions, hard questions, without certain answers. And in all these things, I became more convinced, that at the heart of the learning experience, is our relationships with those we learn alongside and with.
The MAED program at Michigan State University has inspired me to move beyond thinking of graduate work as head knowledge and to see it for what it is, an experience centered on educating the heart, the lifeblood through which knowledge flows and is shared with others. Whole-hearted learning, as I have seen it, seeks to share with others the joy and wonder that we have discovered in this world.
LEARNING EVERYWHERE
EAD 860 (The Concept of the Learning Society) was one of the most inspiring courses I took in the MAED program. As strange as it seems, the asynchronous, solitary nature of the course truly allowed me to process what it was that learning represented to me. Through the course materials and the written assignments, I was able to arrive more aware of the different journeys that learners take throughout their lifetime. The course became for me a window to the world, a place where I could think like someone else a bit, untethered from my bias and my personal experiences. As I wrote in response to one of the readings, “We should all strive to connect what we learn to the people we live with and interact with, both near and far . . . it does us good to look beyond the learning itself and see the world for what it truly is, someone else’s home.” The world was opened up to me through the selections and the ability to process at my own speed, without the interference of others.
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EAD 860 reminded me that although learning is incredibly social, it also benefits students when they are not rushed and can process readings through writing. As one of the first courses I took in my program, it also surprised me to see the care with which the instructor crafted the course. The materials truly mattered, shaping our thinking, allowing the professor (Dr. Weiland) to step out of the spotlight. This example of teaching was fascinating and I ate it up. When an instructor can confidently allow students to grapple with the learning freely, I do believe that it is more powerful. In all that I do, when working with other adults, I try to remember this example of instruction. To learn freely without the encumbrances of another’s agenda is truly a gift. As a start, I was led to develop a learning library on my campus for teachers, where, in the example of EAD 860, they can self-select readings, some professional, some not, to read and respond to.
In addition, the exposure to different forms of life-long learning served as an incredible reminder of human curiosity and the wonder that comes in learning new things throughout our lifetime. It helps me to celebrate with others the learning that happens, not just inside and for the classroom, but the learning that represents the larger classroom of life. Paying attention to the skills and abilities of my teachers (and students), I now highlight the many areas in which they are devoting themselves to new learning. This allows all learning to be valued, not just that which serves the school, test scores, and the organization. Valuing each person in my school building for all that they are, as well as the learning they pursue, creates a culture of respect, wonder, and zest for learning.
In addition, the exposure to different forms of life-long learning served as an incredible reminder of human curiosity and the wonder that comes in learning new things throughout our lifetime. It helps me to celebrate with others the learning that happens, not just inside and for the classroom, but the learning that represents the larger classroom of life. Paying attention to the skills and abilities of my teachers (and students), I now highlight the many areas in which they are devoting themselves to new learning. This allows all learning to be valued, not just that which serves the school, test scores, and the organization. Valuing each person in my school building for all that they are, as well as the learning they pursue, creates a culture of respect, wonder, and zest for learning.
PROBLEMS ARE LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES
While some courses were more personal and self-directed, others were more valuable when explored with others. EAD 801 (Leadership and Organizational Development) proved to be a course where I developed a respect for my peers and my instructor through my interactions with them. This was one of the few courses for which we met weekly on-line, in person. I valued seeing others for a change, hearing about their learning, as well as their questions and struggles. I was refreshed to hear that good leadership comes first from valuing people over progress. The coursework was rooted in the idea of adaptive leadership, a style that tackles issues for which there are not straightforward solutions, earning trust to shift thinking. This course affirmed for me that this is the work I am most interested in.
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When working with people on a day to day basis, it is easy to think in terms of transactions and linear relationships. If we do this, then this should happen. But people are not that predictable. We are a mess of emotions, history, and creativity. We do not behave like machines. In my current school, there are some very pressing issues that we desire to work towards resolving. But these are long term problems with long term solutions.
In this course I was challenged to detail one of these adaptive challenges, unpacking it deeply through the lens of different stakeholders and angles. This task was something I was able to eventually share with our new Head of School. He was incredibly grateful for the objective lens I was able to provide into an ongoing issue at our school that we seek to work out.
Also notable from this course was the profound wisdom that came from one of the books we read about “five minutes” of reflective time each day. This has been invaluable to me. This simple suggestion to reflect on daily work has allowed me to process more clearly, identify personal growth areas, as well as pinpoint problem-solving opportunities.
Overall, EAD 801 allowed me to have a community of learners that I collaborated with regularly, a relevant problem-solving opportunity, and develop a professional practice of reflective journaling.
In this course I was challenged to detail one of these adaptive challenges, unpacking it deeply through the lens of different stakeholders and angles. This task was something I was able to eventually share with our new Head of School. He was incredibly grateful for the objective lens I was able to provide into an ongoing issue at our school that we seek to work out.
Also notable from this course was the profound wisdom that came from one of the books we read about “five minutes” of reflective time each day. This has been invaluable to me. This simple suggestion to reflect on daily work has allowed me to process more clearly, identify personal growth areas, as well as pinpoint problem-solving opportunities.
Overall, EAD 801 allowed me to have a community of learners that I collaborated with regularly, a relevant problem-solving opportunity, and develop a professional practice of reflective journaling.
ASK MORE QUESTIONS
EAD 800 (Concepts of Educational Inquiry) has been one of the most important, but also perplexing learning experiences. The content of this course was monumental in stimulating thinking, but as I reflect back on the course, I am still left with questions as to how to promote more inquiry in the teachers I lead. As I stated in my writing, “With most teachers I encounter, it would never occur to them that inquiry be an essential part of their job. Not only that, given the nature of teacher preparation programs, if inquiry is not the central thread running through their coursework, this practice has not been experienced and often feels difficult, unfamiliar, and unimportant.” I am still wrestling with this course and its applicability for me in my role as a school leader.
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It is only because I feel so strongly about its importance that this burden of inquiry rests heavy on me. Committing teachers to a practice of personal classroom inquiry, influencing the decisions they make for their individual students and classes is the most effective starting point for measurable changes in teacher practice and student outcomes. As evidenced best by the example of Vivian Paley, this commitment revolutionizes our practice and our understanding of the students we teach. Without this practice, we march along, taking orders from leaders with no experience in the field, blindly marching, unsure of where we are going and why we are headed there. But I have yet to figure out how to truly promote inquiry. There are those that are natural analysts of their practice. But is that it: that inquiry is about mindset? I tend to think not, and that there are practical ways to cultivate the practice of inquiry in educators.
For now, what I do best is model inquiry for students and teachers alike, asking these questions regularly, and journaling about them as well:
ED 800 challenged me to be more intentional, more authentic, more honest in all my learning and teaching. As a student, I found it enormously humbling to be asked to question my professional practice routinely and with great candor. I believe that this approach to learning and teaching is most rewarding because it tears off the veil of learning for performance and asks us to learn to serve others better, as well as to remain true to what we believe of learners.
For now, what I do best is model inquiry for students and teachers alike, asking these questions regularly, and journaling about them as well:
- How am I operating? How can I best operate?
- How am I developing students/teachers to their full potential? What can I do to do this?
- What am I assuming about this learner, this group, or this school?
- How do my efforts as an educator line up with any institutional objectives?
- How do I model learning for others?
ED 800 challenged me to be more intentional, more authentic, more honest in all my learning and teaching. As a student, I found it enormously humbling to be asked to question my professional practice routinely and with great candor. I believe that this approach to learning and teaching is most rewarding because it tears off the veil of learning for performance and asks us to learn to serve others better, as well as to remain true to what we believe of learners.
I initially thought that this “program” was not for me, not the way I like to learn. I was wrong. The MAED program at Michigan State University held me accountable in the best way, while allowing me the freedom to explore, at my pace, and on my timetable, the topics at hand.
I am a better educator because of this program. I learned that learning truly is a process, and it’s a balance between what we know is best for ourselves and what others say is best for all. I was able to whole-heartedly learn because the courses promoted freedom, authenticity, and the learner above all. Learning became less about the destination and more about the process. I began to ask more questions and accept that learning is a life-long pursuit. That’s the beauty of the best type of education: it gives you wings to see the world for what it is, a community of all different kinds of learners, figuring out that this world is full of opportunities to uncover the wonder of discovery and growth. |